
Modern Warfare 2 has an absolutely ridiculous means of customization for your classes this time around, and not just for people that like to be Cold Blooded. I’ve wanted to blog about the many different ways that I personally like to set up custom classes not just to win, but piss off your opponents. One thing I know about myself, is during my rage fits, my center of anger is usually directed on teams not going for objectives, or single opponents that are “unhittable”. This makes me a weaker threat, since I’ll spend more time bitching than actually solving the problem.
Hit the jump for my 10 point program on how to be a dick! You may enjoy this…
The class: “Shotgunning ho”, or also called “spam”
Perk 1: Any first perk will work, but I always opt for Slight Of Hand Pro, for fast reloads.
Perk 2: For core, use Stopping Power. Hardcore, use Cold Blooded or Hardline. You can get away without stopping power in core if you’re within a decent range, but we want maximum dickness here, right?
Perk 3: 3rd Should be Ninja Pro or Sit Rep.
Using this setup, equip 1882′s on your secondary (unlocked after 25 kills), and run around, using alternating triggers to kill players from 50 yards. It’s that simple.
Combating the Shotgunning Ho:
If you’re standing 51 yards away, you won’t die instantly. Grab his goddamn shotguns off the ground and use them on the opposing team, preferably on the asshole using that setup.

I see woo...
The class: “The guy that never moves”
Perk 1: Scavenge for claymores, or Slight Of Hand Pro, for quick jabs with the M21. (You probably know never to just look through a scope, right?)
Perk 2: Usually you want Cold Blooded. If you are playing SnD, you can opt for Hardline or Stopping Power, since you most likely won’t deal with any major killstreak issues.
Perk 3: Ninja Pro.
This class is self explanatory, but some people might not understand the need to be far away from all the action, and dick people to death from a distance, away from much danger. Getting enough single-shot kills on players rewards camo for your player in different environments, increasing the ability to be a dick. I personally enjoy a nice machine pistol as a backup for when the action’s close, but any backup will do. Be aware, though, that large backup weapons such as the Javelin will show up on your back when you’re trying to lie prone.
Combating the Guy That Never Moves:
You can try to snipe the guy that spends his whole day sniping in maps, which is like trying to outrun a QB in the NFL just because you don’t like the team they’re on. Either way, you’ll lose most of the time. Actually, unless the QB breaks his ankle, you’ll always lose that bet. Use Noob Tubes, or as I call it, the Anti-Sniper Cannon.
The class: “Flying Hawaiian”
Perks: Marathon, Lightweight and Ninja Pro
Equip a light gun with a silencer (I prefer p90), and bolt through the map. As a bomb planter in SnD, you’ll always get to the bomb plant point way before the other team will usually expect it. It’s good for a few rounds until you get predictable, in which you’ll start seeing Noob Tubes flying your way. The important thing to remember with a sprint class, is to be as random as possible, and never stop running. Even if you die a few times, the apprehension you create over a few rounds will benefit your team in the long run.
Combating the Flying Hawaiian:
Generally, lying prone will allow those damn Hawaiians to fly by you without noticing. As stated above, using explosives will stop fast moving players more often than using bullets, as they can shoot you quick as hell, especially if they have lightweight pro, which allows you to come out of a sprint quicker. It’s also satisfying to watch a flying Hawaiian go literally flying from a well placed Noob Tube, which might inspire them to switch classes to something more… Well, they’ll switch to Noob Tubes. Gotta love this game.

I sure hope no one uses FMJ, the rounded bullets go right through this thing.
The class: “Riot Control v1.2″
Perks: Marathon, Lightweight, Commando
This is a slight but necessary adjustment to the existing default class, hence the name. The additon to Lightweight makes you a much bigger threat to other players, and a much bigger dick. By adding this perk, you allow yourself to close the gap on frightened players, and generally keep up with your other teammates. Not using Cold Blooded will attract the attention of other opponents, which is what you want. I also have wonderful dick move moments, by equipping dual pistols (NOT machine pistols) and switching to them when a player goes to throw a grenade or reloads. It never gets old, as you can almost see the look on their face every time you pull that fast one on them.
I was using last stand with this class, which works, but Commando Pro allows major drops with 0 chance of dying. The range on the shield bash is insane with Commando, and I’ve landed several 5+ kill streaks on shocked players trying to stop me. Man I love being a dick. Speaking of, you can be a real asshole by equipping a throwing knife and trying to get a quick stab on people trying to reload, which takes mad skill. It also infuriates the other player, and is in my opinion the most logical time you should ever use that piece of equipment. (The throwing time of it is instant, and you replace your shield fast. You just have to have good aim.)
Combating Riot Control v 1.2:
I love this class so much, I really don’t want to expose this fact: Using flash or stun grenades on shielded players (if they are facing the explosion, it won’t affect them) makes them completely vulnerable, lifting the shield up from covering their eyes. If you’re fast, you can usually out-maneuver one and knife them from the side. Also Semtex, Claymores and Noob Tubes will do them in no problem. Basically, anything other than standing in front of them and unloading a FMJ gun into the shield, thinking it penetrates it. IT DOESN’T.
The class: “One man exploitation”
Perks: One Man Army, Danger Close, any 3rd
Equip a Noob Tube class, with Claymores. Drop a claymore in a defensive position, and launch your tubes randomly. Go to switch classes, but instead of switching to another class, switch to the same class. Blammo! You now have more Noob Tubes and Claymores. Enjoy this ridiculous, most likely glitchy setup while it’s not patched, unless you think IW thinks you should launch 40 tubes in one round of SnD. Then again, who knows…
Combating One Man Exploitation:
If you suspect someone using this class, your only chance is to get them when they’re changing their class, which can take 2.5 to 5 seconds, depending on the level of OMA. Other than that, there’s not a whole lot you can do about it, other than the usual method of a player that pisses me off: Noob Tube them.
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Posted in
Oh man, nice guide. I’m totally going to try the Riot Shield and asshole tuber ones.
December 2nd, 2009 at 11:13 pm
Well done kid.
December 3rd, 2009 at 2:29 am