Combo Whore

You know why I don’t miss this game? Because I still play it, nearly a decade after I first laid my cramped-up hands on it. Don’t already know what this masterpiece is? Know already, but need a reminder why you should fire this baby up before every server disappears forever? Hit the jump, Flak Whore!

This, in my opinion,  reigns supreme amoung the most intense online First Person Shooters ever. I’m not sure what Epic did between then and now to mess up this perfect formula of shooting and dodging, but they did. I guess you can’t recreate a work of art.

Unreal Tournament is the answer to Id Software’s Quake III: Arena, being (basically) an online-only fragfest, with every map designated towards it’s gametype: Deathmatch, Capture The Flag, Domination and Assault. There were (If I remember right) 50 maps to start you off, although quite a few were designed with single player in mind, which is only used to warm up the player to get his ass handed to him online.

This game was euphoric to fans of the first game, Unreal. Every feature that you could ask for in a sequel was there: Better, more balanced weapons. Amazing graphics (that needed no acceleration with GFX cards, which was boasted on the cover), and most of all, fast-paced action.

This game is merciless. If you did not play the hell out of Unreal, you were at a disadvantage. This is old school shit here; you need to spawn kill, hog ammo/health, and have your routines down. (Routines is where you run through a map as fast as possible, collecting every powerup that your enemy has not.) If you think spawn killing is rough in today’s titles, play UT for 5 minutes for a quick refresher.

So, so satisfying...

While Quake III’s announcer was decent, UT’s is legendary. Again, no title since this game can match this guy’s bad ass voice. Really, many have tried, none have come close.  ( “M-M-MONSTER KILL!”)

But above it all, the best thing about this game is it’s weapons. Although the Shock Rifle still managed to be a bit overpowered, the chaos resulting from each weapon (goo, rockets, snipers) allows UT to remain crazy and fun, even 10 years later. Even with it’s now archaic graphics, the feeling of landing a “happy face” (a flak cannon ball has a happy face on the front of it for fortunate players that eat one) on your opponent, and his resulting bloody explosion is as satisfying as it ever was.

And I guess it’s why I still enjoy this game, since it’s so chaotic, you never know what’s going to happen from one match to the next. You don’t have to wait to spawn, you don’t spend any time trying to out think your opponents, you just jump in and murder, round after round after round. It’s simplicity at it’s best, and perhaps the best this generation will ever see.

And as a bonus for playing in today’s servers, the amount of aimbotters (bastards that automatically target your dome with a touch of a button), douchebags and every other griever are pretty much all gone anymore. All that are left, however, are players that haven’t stopped playing in 10 years, so fair warning when you step into a server. Like me, you WILL get your ass whipped. But at least you can actually say “Good Game” afterwards, unlike anything on X Box Live.

(I played for 3 hours today, and not ONE teabag. It’s almost strange, I barely remember life before teabagging…)

Redeemer. The best weapon in history..?

If you ever see this game available on store shelves (GOTY editions are pretty cheap), I suggest installing it. And maybe I’ll see you guys on Deck 16][ some day soon. Until next time!

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