SuperHighResolution!

Not your typical RPG

Swords and poker is quite the frustrating game to explain to people.
Fans of Mystery Science Theater 3000 can relate to the difficulty of
making a simple but brilliant concept sound anything but retarded when
explained for what it is.

Swords And Poker is a  strictly linear RPG, played out in turn-based
battles using poker hands. You’re dealt four cards, and place two per
turn to form basic hands to deal damage to your opponents.
After a few rounds, you start to realize the strategic value of
forming additional hands in the same turn, by lining up cards along
the border, which can case devastating combo attacks.

It’s immediately addictive, and only gets better once you acquire
weapons, shields, and magic to add RPG flair to the game.
Its very simple, easy to use, and very fast to pick up and resume when
you need to interact with the real world.

Eat this, asshole

The game is solid, and an excellent value. I can honestly see myself
playing a game of SnP with a deck of cards and an open minded
friend, considering how easy the formula really is.

Thanks to D for the reference, and I urge you to buy it. Nao!!!

That's ... cute

Suffering from mapathy? That’s the term Infinity Ward had coined to describe that wonderful feeling of “meh” after playing the same maps over and over. Well, in 3 weeks you won’t have to worry, as it looks like new maps are coming soon to the 360. No details on pricing, number of maps, or when they will come to PS3 or PC, but it sounds like all the details will slowly drip out at the site set up to combat Mapathy. So stay tuned!

Mapathy

"I took 'shock' instead of 'last stand'"

I was fortunate enough to win a beta key to Blur, Bizarre Creations’ next racer. You may know them from Dreamcast’s Metropolis Street Racer, or the Project Gotham series. If you’re a fan of what they accomplished in the realistic racing genre, you may not be of Blur. However, if you’re a fan of Mario Kart, Burnout, or Modern Warfare 2 (what?!), you’ll find a lot to love here.

Yep, Bizarre is competing with Treyarch for “Game That Rips The Most Off from Infinity Ward” this year. And it’s shaping up to make for one of the best racers to come along in years. Hit the jump for the deets!

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EVEN FLIPPIN RATS!!!!!! (image courtesy Joystiq)

So, Rock Band Network. Long time coming self-creation tools and store for additional, non Harmonix produced tracks and game files. Well, 360 owners rejoice! Your chance to spend more money on 105+ Rock Band songs is now live. Songs range from free to $2, similar to the Harmonix-powered store.

We’ve got the launch list o’ tracks behind the cut, but more importantly, check out that image above. EVEN RATS. (and the underrated Children of December!).IN ROCK BAND. What else need be said… How about 3 new Coulton songs? Some KMFDM? Steve Vai? Yeah, it’s a pretty good fuckin day.

Full track list, with my picks highlighted, post jump!

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Now with less creative firepower!

Wow, what an interesting couple of days out there for Call of Duty fans! Earlier today, Infinity Ward (the people who make the good CoD games) heads Vince Zampella and Jason West updated their various social networking sites to reflect that they no longer worked at IW. This led to rampant speculation (on the internet?! Shocking!) as to the future of the CoD games. Activision has since announced:

• Activision is planning on turning Call of Duty into “high-margin digital online content and further the brand as the leading action entertainment franchise in new geographies, new genres and with new digital business models.” In English? Expect Call of Duty: Pay to Play MMO edition (a la World of Warcraft), or perhaps a Call of Duty RTS game? Or third person action game? Or some such crap.
• Before you get excited about the above, remember that Activision, fresh off purchasing Guitar Hero, made such wonderful games as Guitar Hero: Aerosmith and Band Hero. Mmmmmhmmmm. Classic entertainment!
• There will be a Treyarch-made CoD game this year, and an unspecified developer will put one out in 2011. (Ruh Roh!)
• A third CoD game will be made by Sledgehammer Games. If you’re not familiar with them, it’s because they’re new! And it’s a studio formed by the creative leads that created Dead Space! The game will, and I quote, “extend the franchise into the action-adventure genre.” So, a Resident: Call of Duty mashup! Yay!
• IW’s leads were canned for “insubordination” and breach of contract. I read this as “IW didn’t feel like driving their core franchise into the ground”.

Remember: the team at IW was responsible for Medal of Honor before EA fucked that franchise into the ground. And here they stand where Activision is ready to run CoD into shitty-game-ville. So, I for one can’t wait to see where the team ends up and what they create.

One of many new enemies.

Borderlands newest DLC is entitled The Secret Armory Of General Knoxx, and is going to be easily the biggest of the batch. How big you ask? Well, you can read a majority of details right here.

Highlights include new weapons (some very rare with new colors), enemies, lands to explore, and a new “megaboss” who’s going to be 3 levels higher than you. There’s also a level uncap from 50 to 61.

Definitely sounds like a better bang for your $10 than the Moxxi DLC which was critically panned for lack of overall content.

So who’s getting this besides me?

I put the over/under on the amount of breaths Trev takes laughing at this guy’s randomness at 4.

Seriously though, this is pretty damn funny.

I deeply suspect that the majority of the gaming public are letting this game sit under their radar, with Beyonetta taking the lead in intrest for carnage and orb collecting, thanks to their cool soundtrack on the commercials. But I won’t let a commercial sway MY intrest, ever since I realized Gears Of War was advertised with a song that wasn’t in the game. Worse still, it was used in the movie Donnie Darko, which made me want to kill myself for a while.   

Thankfully, I didn’t. Otherwise, I would not be here to tell you what I think of this game! Read on for the full review!   

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Play free-for-all? Hate seeing douchebags in a corner boosting with their buddies with tac inserts? Then watch this video to see some Booster Justice. I encourage everyone to try this themselves. Nothing’s better than ruining a douchebag’s day. Nice music and Duke Nukem editing as well.

Thanks to Vin Phx 602 for sending me this.

Go buy me. I'm fun!

Splosion Man is $5 on XBLA this week, so if you haven’t played this one, it’s recommended here at SHR that for $5 you really can’t go wrong. Fun game, go check it out.